Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Exams and Challenges

I am very excited to say that this is finals week, and next week I will have two weeks off from school! With the storm and flooding that took place, our classes got extended one week, so next week I am finally free. The original excitement of starting school made it easier to overlook how busy I was becoming, but as the months pushed on I became very overwhelmed with all the responsibility. With Mackie still under disciplinary action, and going to be for quite some time, I has now become formal that I am the senior pastor. If it seems bizarre, maybe even inappropriate I would fully agree, since I am far from being "ready." It is not very exciting that the role was given to me on the terms of default, since Mackie was being groomed to take the lead, but I accepted willingly, and with the clear reality that I don't really have a choice. Even if we were to try and find and hire another pastor, that is not a process that can be rushed through, or even easy for that matter, so without any negative connotation, I am quite stuck in the role! Joshua is guiding me and walking with me through the everything so I am very much not alone, and I also keep in contact with my senior pastor at home.

The last few weeks have been really challenging to be honest. I was surprised to see my mother had sent out an email, because I should have been the one, but the morning I got up and checked my emails and saw it, I felt much better. There was a few mornings I struggled to get out of bed because of the back pain, and made class very challenging. I think part of the reason is that the title and job given to me is pretty scary and overwhelming, and I want to do my best, and put too much pressure on myself. The fact that the two people who were supposed to be leading this church fell away within a year, loads up weight even more, since after me there is no one else. Though the church is doing well and developing, the leadership is strained to the ends, and I have to either stand up and lead, or let the church fall. This is a common story, and one that God has done great things in time and time again, and my hope and trust is in Him to lead, and for me to be the hands and feet.

Some great news is that Canadian missionaries that I am good friends with and grew up in my area are going to be arriving November 4th. I have actually been waiting for them to arrive, which is unusual for me with missionaries since so many come and go, but these guys are coming at such a critical time, and I am so thankful. I am glad that our strong base of youth are continuing to playing such key roles in all the behind the scene aspect of the church, but since I started school the youth ministry has not been what it once was, and with these guys here to really give the attention to the youth that I am not capable giving, will really help out. They will be here 1 year which is also great because it gives them enough time to develop long lasting relationships, and allows me to hand bigger responsibilities over to them.

I have a few stories I would like to share, but for now I want to tell what happened a night a week ago or so. I was walking the youth home, and we walked past the street that the squatter area is on, and I noticed a girl sitting almost in the middle of the road, wailing, kicking her feet and crying. Their house was right there so I dropped off the youth and went over to see what was happening with the girl. At first I thought she was demon possessed because of her seemingly violent kicking and ending crying and wailing. But as I looked and observed more, I realized that this was an emotional issue, so I approached the people on the street and asked what was wrong. People started making jokes about her and saying she does it all the time, and my heart sank! Someone sitting on the dirty street crying out, and people could only makes jokes, it was frustrating but I new that they did not know any better. I had to approach this situation very carefully because I did not want to seem like I was trying to get into the gossip, but meaningfully try and see what was happening, and thankfully Toph was with.
I saw her mom, a regular attendee at our church, single mother of 4 and has a terribly hard life, sitting on the curb and laying back onto the side walk. I became totally overwhelmed as I looked at the mom laying there totally hopeless, in a culture built around "keeping face," her daughter sat in the road wailing and screaming and crying and shoeing off anyone who tried to talk to her. How embarrassing would that be if that was your child making a fool of you in front of your entire neighborhood was what I was thinking, and so I approached the mother and asked her for permission to talk to the girl. She had no problem with us talking to her, and both me and Toph were worried we were going to look like fools if she just went crazier. As she saw us approaching she started being more dramatic, and then it all became clear to me, it was a cry for love. Me and Toph squatted beside her and began talking to her. This girls father is a drunk, and makes a fool of himself in the area all the time, he beat his wife, and they have public swearing matches often, I could not imagine what was in this little girls mind. So I sat and I told her that I loved her, and that all of "Ate's(ah-tahs - big sisters)" and "Kuya's koo-ya - Big brothers)" loved her at the church. I just kept saying it over and over and over, and Toph told her how much Jesus loved her. She began to relax, and I "shhhh"ed her for a few minutes, and promised to be there for her anytime she needs us, and to just come to the church and find me or the others if you have a problem.

What makes this story special to me is that I saw the power of commitment and love. She would literally do that for hours from what the mother said, and no one else was able to quite her, except me and Toph. But the best part was at church on Sunday when I saw her, and I could see trust, and when I met her on the street the other night and she basically jumped on me and treated me like her brother. It was such a good reminder that simply showing love is the most powerful thing we can do, even if it's simple, or dealing with a full on temper tantrum! One thing that shocks me, that little girl is not so little, she is 14! I almost could not believe it when I was told after her exact age, she looks 10, and her actions well they speak for themselves. Again, I can't even begin to fathom what she has gone through to be so undeveloped emotionally, or to throw a fit in the middle of the road for literally hours. Please pray for her, her name is kathline, and I hope God has something special planned for her!

Thank you all for your prayers, I really need them in this time!

Brett

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